Dear tweaking teen driving your Dad's Cadillac abomination in the London Drugs parking lot. I have some hints for you.
- If you want to take my parking spot, stopping directly behind me as I attempt to back out will make this a difficult task for you to accomplish. (Hint - It's a physics thing.)
- Leaning on your horn will not allow me to magically levitate out of my parking spot so that you can have it.
- Continually leaning on the horn, see point 2 above.
- Laying some rubber, (a neat trick on wet pavement!) and then fishtailing away through the parking lot does not make you appear cool. It makes you look like just what you are, a young and wealthy meth-head. Wow. That sounds a bit judgemental, doesn't it? Sorry. My bad. You may have been using cocaine, not methamphetamine. You may have enjoyed a few cocktails. You may not be wealthy, you may just be an entrepreneurial automobile thief with a taste for gas guzzlers. (A true story; Mr. GW Bush once said that "The French don't have a word for entrepreneurial". You can't make this stuff up.)
- Have a nice life. Given your propensity for levels of rage out of all proportion to the small events of life, I suspect that you'll enjoy a miocardial infarction sooner rather than later, so your life may be brief. (In all likelyhood, you'll have wrapped yourself around a telephone pole long before your health deteriorates anyhow, so don't worry about old age!)
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